Yes, one day you will be 30 something and being 30 something isn’t always glamorous!

Dear Karma,

I really hate you right now. You’ve made your point.

-Ottilie Weber

Free Online Dating at Craigslist 

Sex and the City is to my generation as Girls is to the current. I loved it. I related to it. I wanted to be the women. However, due to recent events, I have decided to call bullshit on Carrie and company.

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My 30-something year old body is revolting against me in a “you abused me in your 20’s”, karma-esque way.

Turns out your mid-thirties are the perfect age if you enjoy karma kicking your ass while simultaneously turning you into a submissive (and ultra hormonal) being that is under a dominant’s (aka Aunt Flo’s) control.

Who freakin’ knew? I don’t recall Carrie and the girls discussing the influence your period has over 30-something women while enjoying their weekly brunch.

As a 20-something woman, I embraced the Sex and the City women when they went there, discussing taboo topics. I embraced the sex I had, instead of being ashamed. I was pissed off when Berger broke up with Carrie on a post-it note. And I cried when the girls had Mr. Big rush off to Paris to save their girl.

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Craigslist Stragedy To Find Love

Now, I am them. I am 30-something. I discuss marriage, sex and relationships over brunch (or, more realistically, while sitting on the bleachers during baseball practice). I own pricey, ridiculously high heels, have fully embraced my female sexuality and am finally beginning to figure life and all the shit that accompanies it, out. But I am also a 30-something who can’t leave home without a panty liner securely stuck to the inside of her lacy underwear. I am a 30-something whose skin breaks out worse than a teenage boy at the height of puberty. I am a 30-something who can’t always have sex whenever because her dominatrix loves to tease. And by tease I mean cock block. And by cock block I mean showing up at random (and usually the most inopportune) moments.

Carrie and the girls went there with bisexuality. They went there with anal. They went there with affairs and one-night stands, heartbreak and love. They went there with oral, recreational drug use and cancer. But they never went there with the one thing that at times, consumes the life of every 30-something woman, whether she lives in Manhattan and has fabulous clothes or lives in a South Florida suburb and drives a minivan.

This is where I call bullshit on Carrie and company.

Since then, I’ve been overly cautious. While I’ve managed to work through that on my own and been able to date guys, I always stayed somewhat detached from the process. I didn’t shut down or refuse to be vulnerable. I just…I don’t know. I always had it in my head that this might not last forever, so don’t get too attached.

My therapist pointed out that I appeared to have a habit of filling in the blanks or writing the script before things were actually fleshed out. Being self-aware and self-actualized are great characteristics. But sometimes you can become so aware that you see right through craigslist people and bypass what they actually might be thinking and go right to what you think they’re thinking.Yes, some people will date you just for the sex and then they’ll abandon you. Or they’ll lie or somehow use you. Those craigslist  people exist. But knowing those people exist is really all you need to help you side-step those craigslist  people. You don’t have to assign a diagnosis to every guy you meet.